Let’s be honest with ourselves here. We ALL make stupid, shitty decisions with our money at one point or another in life (trust me, I’ve been there). It’s like a slap-in-the-face kind of rite of passage, but when you keep getting slapped in the face after not learning your lesson the first time, you know you’ve gotta start setting boundaries with yourself. Actually creating and maintaining these financial boundaries is a challenging yet necessary step in being intentional with your money.
Intention matters, especially with money, because of how easy it is to slide your way down a slippery slope if we’re not paying attention to where we put our feet. If you particularly struggle with money (overspending, can’t save, in debt) it may be helpful to implement boundaries in other areas of your life first, to help build your boundary setting muscles.
Setting boundaries in your life can look like a lot of things. You may set professional boundaries where you won’t answer work calls after certain hours or make sure to use your vacation time to recharge. Other boundaries look like setting a screen time limit for yourself so you don’t death-scroll TikTok all night or setting aside time to exercise and move your body. Okay, so now what about financial boundaries? What do those look like?
What Financial Boundaries Look Like
Creating financial boundaries is gonna come down to your personal weaknesses. What areas do you struggle with financially? Do you overspend on a credit card (or credit cards) you can’t pay off? Do you have a ton of bad debt that’s piling up like dirty laundry? Maybe you’re neglecting your needs in favor of your wants (not being able to eat because all your money is going to a massive car payment you shouldn’t have been approved for in the first place).
Think about what you need to work on, then apply some boundaries. Here are a few I thought of to get you started (you’re welcome 😏)
- not buying things you can’t afford
- saying no to going out/proposing alternative plans
- cooking at home instead of eating out
- sticking to a budget
- making a plan to get out of debt
- living within your means
- prioritizing your financial wellbeing – do what’s best for you and your financial future
- letting go of external expectations of what your life should look like and designing it for yourself
- paying bills on time
- paying yourself first to build up your savings
Now it should go without saying that not everything here will apply to every person. I never had any issues paying my bills on time, but I 100% had to set boundaries around limiting my spending (aka get on a budget) and create a plan to get out of debt, otherwise I’d still be running around with my head up my ass trying to figure out why I have no money.
Benefits of Creating Financial Boundaries
If you’ve ever had the opportunity to block a particularly annoying person then you can understand the peace that comes with never having to deal with their bullshit again (unless you unblock them…). But creating, and most importantly, maintaining, these financial boundaries will also give you peace of mind. You’ll stress less knowing you’ve got a plan in place.
What this plan is exactly depends on what boundaries you set and what goals you’re trying to reach. But regardless, you still get to reap the benefits of what you sow. It may take a while before you start seeing the results you’re after, so be patient. It took me so long to actually save my first $1000. And if you mess up along the way, it’s okay. You don’t have to completely start over, just keep going from where you left off.
So besides peace of mind, what other benefits are we talkin’ here?
- save money/get out of debt quicker
- prevent issues from festering (not accumulating a ton of interest on debt)
- build better financial habits to improve your life
- sense of accomplishment for doing something challenging for yourself
When we say no to buying things we don’t need or eat at home instead of going out, we’re able to save money and get out of debt quicker. Making a plan to get out of debt and building a budget means we’re not letting issues get worse around here. Prioritizing your financial wellbeing allows you to build better financial habits and improve your life. And doing all of these things is difficult; you should feel proud of yourself that you can do hard things.
How to Maintain Your Financial Boundaries
When you block a creep who sends pics of his junk or set a bedtime for yourself to make sure you get enough sleep (mine’s 9:30 🤓), you’re sticking up for yourself. Always remember you’re the guardian of your boundaries and always in control. Think of it like having a little troll that guards the bridge into your life and asks riddles to anything that tries to cross. If someone or something doesn’t pass the test, they get thrown into the gorge.
Ultimately, what you allow into your life is up to you, and if your bridge troll isn’t asking hard enough riddles, those boundaries will be easier to cross. This is easier said than done when it comes to dealing with other people and their opinions on how we should live our lives. Most people close to us want to see us thrive and will support us. However, there are haters, narcissists, abusers, and meanie weenies who will push and push at our boundaries.
Sometimes, the boundary-pushing isn’t malicious, it’s just coming from a place of misunderstanding or misplaced intention. Maybe you have a friend who likes to go out every weekend and blow a lot of money or a family member who feels entitled to your financial help. Try explaining to them why you can’t go out anymore or give them money every month; if that doesn’t ease the pressure, you may have to find some distance.
If you have kids, they may not understand or only understand to varying degrees depending on their ages. If they keep pestering you to get a new toy or video game or get money to go out with friends, you may need to age-appropriately explain to them why this isn’t possible right now. Ultimately, while you are the Keeper of the Gates, your external environment will factor into how successful you are or even which boundaries are realistic for you.
✨In Conclusion✨
Just to sum up: boundaries are good, financial boundaries look different for everyone based on their needs, creating financial boundaries has a positive impact on your life, and maintaining your financial boundaries can be a tricky balancing act. Got it? Cool. Don’t got it? Read it again.
Remember, the most important things are that you take an honest look at your goals and behaviors and adjust your boundaries around the areas you need to fix to reach those goals. Remain patient for those results to start showing (progress over perfection), and hold yourself accountable. Perhaps most importantly, don’t let other people’s expectations dictate or control how you live, especially when it comes to money.