This week, we’re discussing what it takes to design your dream life and all the considerations that go into building a life you love, while being financially prepared!
Think about the life you want. Where do you want to live, what do you want to do professionally, do you want to travel or retire early? Only by creating a plan can we make those desires a reality. Are you ready to start designing the life you dream of living?
Listen now on Spotify! Transcript is available below.
If you’ve ever felt the disconnect between the life that you’re living and the life that you want to live, then you’re in the right place.
Hi, I’m Nicole, and welcome to the very first episode of Happy, Healthy and Wealthy, a podcast where we explore personal finance, mindset, and living your best life.
So to start off, I wanted to start this podcast because I’ve struggled a lot with my finances, sticking to my goals and just attaining the life that I dream of, and I know a lot of other people do too. As I’ve grown and learned more about personal finance, in particular, I felt inspired to share with anyone who would listen. I’d love to build a community of like minded people and inspire others to live their best lives.
With that in mind, I figured a good first episode would be on designing our dream life. I believe that designing your dream life is the foundation for everything else. When you know what you’re aiming for, decisions around money, career, relationships and lifestyle become so much clearer, and honestly, it’s hard to make choices if you don’t even know what you want. I’m just gonna put that out there, because it can feel so overwhelming when you don’t even know where you’re going.
So think of it as like planning a vacation, right? You can’t buy plane tickets or book a hotel, plan excursions. You can’t have any sort of itinerary. You can’t pack your suitcase if you don’t even know where you’re going, because what are you going to put in your suitcase? Are you going somewhere hot, somewhere cold? You don’t know what to pack. You need a destination, is the point. And you need a destination in life.
Designing your dream life begins with one simple, maybe not so simple, question: what do you value and desire? These two components are going to help you draw up a blueprint, a roadmap, whatever you want to call it, for your dream life. And then, as it does, that question begets more questions, because there’s so much to think about when you’re envisioning your dream life. Right? Questions like, where do I want to live? What kind of work life balance do I want to have? Do I want to travel a lot? Do I want to settle down? Do I want to get married? What does my partner want? Do I want kids or pets? All these different questions pop up, and it can definitely feel really overwhelming.
And then with all those questions comes a financial aspect. What kind of income is it going to take to support these goals? What intentional choices or trade offs might you have to make to achieve those goals? So what are you going to have to go without for right now so that you can have what you want later? And then, how long is it going to take you to reach these goals? Is this something you can accomplish in a year? Five years? 10 years? Is this a 40 year plan so that in retirement, you’re living your best life in your 60s? I don’t know. It’s different for everyone.
Take a moment, pause, think a little, maybe write it down. What would you love your life to look like in one year? In five years, in 10 years, jot down whatever comes to mind, really, no matter how big or how small, and perhaps even especially the small things, because I do think that the details matter, and the details, the small things in life are really what makes it. So figuring out these details helps you set up your finances for success.
If you want to live in a higher cost of living area, you like the finer things in life, then you likely need a well paying job, or at least a partner with a well paying job. Not saying you should get a sugar daddy, but…
Which reminds me, if you’re in a relationship, kind of touched on this earlier, but it’s important to bring your partner into the conversation, right? Their input is going to affect this journey too. It’s not just you deciding things. You’re deciding things together, especially if you plan on being together long term, getting married, bringing in kids to the situation. You may see eye to eye on most, if not all, things, which is good, but there’s very likely going to be some compromise on both ends. Not everyone is getting what they want, and that’s okay. Okay, that’s part of being in a partnership, and if you don’t like that, be single.
So do not be the couple that gets married only to realize that they want completely different things and they have completely different expectations, whether it’s how much time you spend working versus together, where you want to live, if and when to have kids, to buy a house, all that kind of stuff. Really, you should be having these conversations with someone if you want to spend your life with them, you got to know what they want their life to look like, and if that aligns enough with what you want your life to look like. You know what I’m saying? I
t’s most likely going to feel overwhelming, and honestly, your plans might change. I think what we want when we’re teenagers obviously changes as we move into our 20s, and then that can change in our 30s, 40s, 50s and so on, pretty much until we die. I think most of us are evolving in some aspect throughout our entire lives, and that’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to stick with the same plans that you made 20 years ago when you didn’t know anything and you didn’t know what you wanted, you didn’t know who you are, like if I stuck with the plans that my 12 year old self made, I would be living in the streets, probably because I would have no income. I was 12, I didn’t know anything. What you want now may be different in a year, five years, 20 years, but that’s part of life, and we can only make decisions with the information we have. Now, like I said, 12 year old me knew nothing, but that’s all I knew. But it’s an important part of the process, right? So remember, no destination equals no vacation.
When it comes to finances, clarity on your values is essential, right? Maybe you prioritize convenience or your health or having fun experiences. And this is why I say the details matter so much, because we can get really caught up in what job we want to have and where we want to live, and if we’re having kids, all the big things which are still super, super important, and you should absolutely think about that, but also the details matter, because if you prioritize self care or a certain lifestyle or buying back your time, if those things are what’s most important to you, reflecting on that and finding what you value and want to spend your money on, is going to help you not only determine what to splurge on, what to save on, where your money goes, but also how you spend your time and your energy.
And just for example purposes, here are some ways that you maybe didn’t think of that you could be prioritizing your time or your money, whatever it is. So maybe you want to have cleaners come in once a week because you hate to clean and you’d rather spend the money to have someone else do it for you. Similarly, if you don’t like to cook, having a meal delivery service to come like, Hello Fresh or Factor, or one of those kinds of things, so you don’t have to cook as much. Paying for car washes instead of doing it yourself.
For me, this is one: buying organic or healthy groceries because I do love to cook, and I also prioritize my health, so that’s something that I will put more money towards, but I will also not put money towards other categories, like, I don’t really like to travel a lot, so I don’t spend a lot of money in that regard.
Going to a nice gym or having a personal trainer. If you really value fitness, that’s something to consider. If you really like going out to eat, trying new restaurants, just socializing with your friends, grabbing a coffee before work and not having to worry about that. It’s a lifestyle thing, right? So they’ll just put it on their credit card and not think about it and accumulate debt. But if you consider the type of person that you are and you plan for that, you’re going to be in a lot better place financially than if you were to just do it mindlessly. I think that’s the biggest point here. Be mindful, know who you are.
Other things, going to concerts, traveling multiple times a year, being able to stay home with your kids. I think that’s a big one, especially if you’re married and one of you wants to stay home, whether it’s to save on daycare costs or it just makes more sense financially, being prepared for that is a big thing. I don’t have kids yet, but it’s true, I know people. Not having a mortgage payment, if you really value being financially free, debt free, and you want to use your money to either pay for a property in full or have a bigger down payment and then pay that mortgage off quicker. Plan for it. Being generous, giving, being charitable, or even just driving a nice car. Some of these it’s okay to be selfish. You know, it’s okay to want nice things, but be mindful about it.
That all being said, ask yourself, if there were no limits, what would you choose? What is non negotiable in your ideal life, and consider the pain points in your current life, what could make it better? So like I mentioned, if you don’t like cleaning, having cleaners come in, that alleviates a pain point. If you don’t like cooking, being able to eat out or to have meals delivered, that solves the pain point. These questions, they’re going to help to guide you in figuring out what your priorities are, especially if you’re uncertain, because there can often be a lot of uncertainty, especially when you’re young.
I know that I spent quite a few years just struggling to figure out what I even wanted to do with myself, and here I am, but it’s a good idea to take a moment to pause, reflect, and do this frequently. Maybe not like every single day, but every couple of months, just to see if you’re still at the same place that you were, and if you are on the right path to what you want, and if that’s even still what you want, you know now there’s no right answer, and you’re probably going to have multiple priorities on your list.
I think we as humans, we’re drawn to wanting a lot of things, and that is okay. What’s important is knowing, first of all, if this desire is coming from you, coming from within, because a lot of times we face societal pressures to live a certain way. And like I said before, there’s nothing wrong with wanting things. There’s nothing bad or evil about it.
I think a lot of times, especially with social media, we can see this villainization of, I want to say, wealthy people, and that’s a whole other thing. But with that can come like a villainization of wanting nice things and wanting, I don’t know, a luxury car, luxury bags or fancy trips, and I don’t think that there’s anything inherently wrong with that. It’s what you want. You should go for it, because, like I said, we’re human. It’s basically hardwired in our DNA to want shiny things, okay? And if you say that you don’t like shiny things. I think you’re lying, just saying.
But if you’re only pursuing these nice things, these finer things in life, to project a certain appearance or to be liked or accepted, you’re going about it the wrong way. Often, we may think we want something, but it’s really just us trying to live up to societal, familial or cultural expectations. A lot of us may have had parents that kind of had our life mapped out for us, like what they wanted us to become and the person they wanted us to be, and a lot of times that doesn’t align with who we actually are or who we actually want to be.
For a while, I wanted to work a nine to five job, live in the suburbs, travel a lot, have a nice car, because a lot of those were things that I thought I should want. Having the nine to five job was something that was ingrained in me by my parents. They wanted me to, rightfully so, they wanted me to have a stable income. But I just realized after a few years of this that it’s not actually in line with my desires. It’s not in line with the life that I want for myself, and there’s nothing wrong with that life, as long as it’s the one that you want.
But for me, I wanted to start my own business. I want to eventually move out to a rural area. I love not having neighbors. After traveling a lot for one of my previous jobs, I realized I did not like it as much as I thought I did. I really thrive on routine, and just traveling all the time throws me out of it, especially if there’s like a time change difference, or just being in hotels all the time wasn’t good for me. I didn’t feel healthy. It was hard to maintain a routine that I felt comfortable. There is something to be said in there about living, realizing what works for you and what doesn’t. Because traveling was something that I was like, “Oh, I need to go and do this.” But turns out, I don’t like it as much as I thought I would. I still want to travel, but not as frequently as I thought, and having a nice car and things like that is great and all, as long as you can afford it.
Please, please, please, don’t go into debt to have nice things. Trust me, I’ve been there, done that, and I learned the hard way, because I got myself into $28,000 of debt for a car, which is just stupid.So if you’re out there you’re looking for a car, you can get a very decent car for probably around 10 grand or so. Honestly, that’s the range I would be looking in used car dealerships, Facebook Marketplace. Just make sure it runs good and you’ll be fine. Honestly, I’ve learned that simple is just as satisfying, like my trusty 2008 Ford Focus. She ain’t the fanciest, not the fanciest horse in the stable, but she gets me there just the same.
So consider this. Where do you find the most joy, and is there something you’d like to make room for financially, like a hobby or travel or prioritizing your health? I think that answering this will help you make a better, more intentional, more self informed decision about your journey. Designing your dream life is very much about getting in touch with your desires and bringing them into reality.
So how are we going to bring them out? Numbers, baby! Like I mentioned, we can only make decisions with the information that we currently have on hand. So that being said, take your current income and your expenses and budget it, okay? Budgeting isn’t about restriction, so don’t worry. I don’t want to scare you off, but it’s about understanding what we’re working with so we can manage our finances with intention. Knowing what bills you have each month and what you spend your money on is going to help you determine two things.
The first, how much do you have left over that you can put towards building your dream life? If you are up to your neck in expenses and you have no wiggle room, it’s going to be a lot harder to put money towards building your dreams, whether it’s savings or paying down your debt, whatever it is, you’re going to have a lot less wiggle room.
The second is, what are you actually spending your money on, and is it necessary or in line with what you actually want to spend your money on. So think back to what you prioritize, what you value, and then look at your bank account. Look at your statement. All these purchases. First of all, are they necessary? Because there will always be expenses that you have to pay that whether you like to or not, they’re just necessary. They’re essential. But beyond that, do you even want to be spending your money on these things, or are you just doing it because you feel like you have to, or you want to fit in, that’s something to evaluate. Are they going towards helping you reach your goals? Are you able to put money in savings? Do you have different savings accounts? Or are you tracking what you’re saving for?
So to the first point, how much do you have left over each month? This first means covering your bases. I want to make sure that you have a fully funded emergency fund and that you’re able to pay off any bad debt, like car loans, credit cards, personal loans. You want to have an emergency fund to cover your butt in case something happens, like you lose your job, you have a medical emergency, or you need to make repairs on your car, so that way you’re not going into more debt, right? Because we’re trying to get out of it, or if we’re already out of it, we don’t want to be back in it.
In my opinion, having an emergency fund and paying off your debt are the bare minimum requirements to move forward. I’m still working on paying off my debt. I talk about that a lot on my Tiktok, and honestly, that journey is the whole reason why I started my business. I started out with $38,000 in debt, $28K of that was from the car, and now I’m down to $14,000 in just about a year and a half of really locking in and paying it off.
A large part of why I was able to do that was through budgeting, right, knowing what comes in, what comes out. You can’t do anything if you don’t have the information. And to the second point, what are you spending your money on? Is there anything that you’re spending money on that doesn’t align with your values? So cutting out the excess is something that’s really important if you’re trying to save money. And knowing where to cut is also important, because you don’t want to cut every single fun thing out of your life, I think it’s too restrictive, and it’s going to cause you to give up sooner. Fail, well, not necessarily fail, but it’s going to cause you to feel like you’re failing if you mess up, and that might cause you to actually give up, you know what I mean?
So cutting out what you don’t want, what doesn’t align with you, and cutting back on the things that you do love. So not getting rid of them completely, but scaling back a little, I think, is important, because, again, we don’t want to live completely for your future self, but we’re not living completely in the present. Okay, we need a balance. I think that creating that balance causes less anxiety around money and your future. Basically, balance is good.
And I feel like I should also mention this concept of a dream budget, which basically you calculate an estimate of how much your dream life would cost you. So you think about everything you want, list everything out, and figure out how much those things would cost, give or take. And it’s kind of like budgeting in reverse, because you’re working backward, you’re coming up with all these expenses, and then you’re seeing, okay, this is how much I make now. How much more do I have to make in order to afford this life? Or maybe you realize I make this much, this life is this much, I’m going to cut a few things so I can live within my means. It’ll basically allows you to just see how close you are to your goals and make adjustments as needed.
So whether you’re cutting back on your desires or you’re increasing your income to have them and have the life that you want, this is a good way to see that you’re probably not as far off from having the life that you want as you think you are. We may, a lot of times, get in our heads and think that what we want is unattainable or that we just simply aren’t capable of that, but if we look at the numbers, I think it could be a sobering moment where we’re like, Oh, I could actually have everything I want. It just takes a little bit of adjusting to get there.
My challenge to you, not a challenge, maybe a challenge, a prompt set aside maybe, like, 20 or 30 minutes to go over your income and expenses and to also work up your dream budget. First, get a real sense of what you have available and see if it’s lining up with your vision, and then see what it would take to have everything you want in life.
So thank you so much for joining me for this first episode of Happy, Healthy and Wealthy. I’d love for you to subscribe and share this journey with me. Let’s keep working on designing a life that’s fulfilling and aligns with our happiest, healthiest and wealthiest selves. If this episode gave you a new perspective, or you have something you’d like to add to the discussion. I’d love to hear about it. So share your thoughts, connect with me on social media, or just drop a comment. I’d love to keep this conversation going. Thank you for tuning in to happy, healthy and wealthy. See you next time, bye!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai